Games Review

They say that no man is an island, and I tend to think that's good, especially when I've been to the beach and have a bunch of sand in my shorts. That really chafes, and if I were a whole island, I would probably never get rid of the sand in my private spots, and I would get a terrible rash. On the other hand, if the island were big enough, like Hawaii or something, I could get hot surfer girls to ride waves on the reefs off my coast.

Actually, that's just not feasible. If I were that large, my obesity would make it difficult to enjoy the surfer chicks, and I couldn't ever get dry because I would be permanently floating just out of the water. So screw it, I don't want to be an island, after all. Instead, I want to be a unicorn.

But until I grow a single horn out of the middle of my face and turn all magical and stuff, I'll have to make do by reading the stuff other people write (that was a horrible segue, by the way, but I'm trying out for a job as the MC at the Oscars, and that seems to be the main job requirement, along with making fun of Lady Gaga). There's a fair amount of cool readability out there in Internet Land, and so I thought I would relate just a few that I find worth the trip.

First off, there's this reviewer dude who goes by the name San Il Defanso. He's not exactly a household name, or anything, but it's only a matter of time. He's an excellent writer, and while his reviews may not be the funniest things you ever read (because he's not really trying to be funny), he is thought-provoking and insightful and best of all, does a very good job of relating the experience of the games he reviews. I read all his stuff, because it's remarkably good. Check him out:

http://sanildefanso.wordpress.com/

Then we have my favorite Tweeter, Matthew Baldwin. This dude, unlike the last guy, is freaking hilarious. He's got an absolutely hysterical piece about negotiating the Ikea store, and he reviews all manner of things, from video games to board games to novels. And did I mention he's funny? Because he is. He's really funny. If you're at all into Twitter, you should totally follow him. I follow like four people, and he's the best one.

http://defectiveyeti.com/

Next up is Pete Miller. Pete is his middle name, and his first initial is W, so I like to call him Whiskey Pete, although I've never met him in person and so he doesn't know I call him that. His blog is not all that interesting, but he writes some awesome tales that are total throwbacks to old-school pulp fiction. If you like Tannhauser (there are umlauts in there, but I can't be bothered with them), he's a huge fan, and has a bunch of additional material you can use to customize your game. Come to think of it, he's a huge fan even if you don't like Tannhauser, but if you do, that part of his site will be more interesting. He'll even tell you where to get the figures you need to bring his stuff to life in your own game. Really cool stuff. Give it a look-see:

http://docsavagetales.blogspot.com/

Another fun guy to follow on Twitter is Nedroid. I don't actually think his cartoons are all that great, but he's very enthusiastic about them. And he's got a GREAT Twitter feed. Funny stuff all the time, and he apparently does nothing but draw comics and tweet. So there are lots of amusing anecdotes in 143-character packages, any time you check. Read his comics, if that's your bag, and follow him on Twitter if you like oddball comedy:

http://nedroid.com/

This is the end of my list, and a lot of people are going, 'hey! that's a short list!' and at least a couple are going, 'why am I not on that list?!' and someone might be going, 'where did you leave the mayonnaise, because I checked in the fridge and it's not there!' I don't know where the mayo is. I don't eat mayo. That was probably someone else.

If you're not on this list, don't feel bad. I read San Il Defanso's reviews because they're simply brilliant, but I don't actually read any other game reviews (even Matthew Baldwin's - but his Twitter feed cracks me up). This is on purpose, because when I review a game, I don't want to be influenced by knowing what other people have written. Plus, if I make the same joke as another reviewer, I want to be able to have some degree of plausible deniability.

If you're already full up with stuff to read, then good for you, don't bother. But if you want to expand your mental horizons, these are a few that I find worth the time.